A First-Aid Kit for your Marriage

Today I would like to share some tips that my husband, Kendall, and I are working on putting into practice in our marriage. Perhaps you have a good relationship and these tips will make it even better. Or maybe your marriage is dying a slow death and your relationship needs a major overhaul. I highly recommend the book, The Man’s Guide to Women: Scientifically Proven Secrets from the “Love Lab” About What Women Really Want by John Gottman, PhD, Julie Schwartz Gottman, PhD, Douglas Abrams, and Rachel Carlton Abrams, MD.

“If you are a man and you bought this book (or borrowed it), congratulations! You are a pioneer. A sterotype-busting man among men. A soon-to-be-Hero who knows how to be the man that all women wish they had…We’ve written this book as an easy-to-read and easy-to-use guide…So here’s the news flash: Men, you have the power to make or break a relationship.”

The Man’s Guide to Women, page viii

Women and emotions

One aha moment for me (Ruth) was realizing that “Men regard intimacy as playing or working side by side.” I used to wonder why Kendall invited me outside to help him with mechanical tasks. For me, intimacy is about talking to someone I can trust. Now I know that my husband was wanting to be closer to me. I usually rejected his invitations because I am NOT a mechanic. Now I realize that just being with him while he is working shows him I care about him.

Something Kendall did not realize is that stress makes me fearful. And when I’m fearful I don’t want to try anything new. And when he pushes me to do something new, I become more stressed. And round and round it goes.

“When a happily married woman held her husband’s hand, the fear response was completely shut down in her brain.”

The Man’s Guide to Women, Page 30

Honest Conversation

Kendall and I used to go on dates and all we could talk about was our kids. If we didn’t talk about the kids, we just sat there and looked at each other. Our dates have become much more fun since we discovered asking open-ended questions that help us learn more about each other. Not sure what to ask? Try 15 Questions You Should Ask Your Partner or The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work by John M. Gottman, PhD. s

“Unlike men, women are much more geared for collaboration, not competition.”

The Man’s Guide to Woman, Page 56

I (Ruth) am learning to enter friendly competition with my husband. Kendall is learning to sit and listen, not just to the words I say, but also to the meaning behind the words.

The Man’s Guide to Woman has chapters on Understanding a Woman, Dating a Woman, Romancing a Woman, Making Love to a Woman, Living With a Woman, and Loving a Woman for a Lifetime.

If you want to “Affair-proof” your marriage, here are some suggestions from the book:

  1. The 6-second kiss (every time you leave and come back together)
  2. Date each other
  3. Get to know each other
  4. Appreciate each other
  5. Honor each other’s dreams

You may also be interested in a new course by Sheila Wray Gregoire:

Boost Your Libido

  • Ten 10-minute videos and modules
  • Each module has a fact sheet with extra information, a worksheet, and a brainstorming exercise, along with some extra resources if you want to read more.

What tips have you found helpful in building and/or maintaining your relationship?

Are you ready to boost your libido




A mission statement is strategic in marketing your company. If someone asks, "What do you?" do you have a concise, powerful answer?

Establishing and Marketing Your Company – 1001 Ways #2

“Any institution worth its salt, any service worth its salt…ought to have a mission that’s brief, that says it all, and that everybody knows.” – Robert Coles, The Ongoing Journey

I appreciate that my very name: Ruth Lucile, prompts me towards a mission statement. Ruth means compassionate and Lucile means bringer of light. My life mission statement is to be a compassionate bringer of light.

In Chapter 3 of 1001 Ways to Market Your Books, John Kremer covers the topic of establishing and marketing your company. Here are some ideas I’m going to try:


  • Leave one behind with a tip every time you go to a restaurant
  • On the back of your card, offer a free sample of some kind that relates to your business

BUSINESS ASSOCIATIONS (Join those you find helpful)


  • Have your company listed in appropriate industry books
  • Sponsor local events as well as industry awards

…And here’s one last piece of advice from Sir Winston Churchill

What ideas have you been trying lately? I’d love to hear about them in the comments below.







7 Days of Great Canadian Giveaways – Day 1

I am excited to be a contributing author to the “7 Days of Great Canadian Giveaways,” taking place February 6 to 12, 2017. This is a wonderful opportunity for you to win an amazing prize package donated by outstanding Canadian Christian authors and recording artists. Please note that Canadian citizens living in Canada ONLY qualify for this particular promotion.

For each day you comment on the blog AND click on the link to go to the author’s Facebook Page, you will be entered into both prize packages for that day. You can enter any time during the contest period for any or all of the days. Contest runs from 8:00 am CST February 6, 2017 to 10:00 pm February 12, 2017. Entries submitted prior or after that time period are ineligible for the giveaways. For complete contest rules, please go to the event page at https://www.facebook.com/events/614924578714278/.

My prize package is featured on Monday, February 6, 2017

Thank you for your interest in this contest and for supporting Canadian Christian authors!

While it is not a requirement to enter the contest, you are invited to sign up for my monthly newsletter where I share my work in progress, some helpful tips, and pictures.

Much of my time in the past few weeks has been taken up with starting some projects that are very exciting for me. Last year I started coaching some writers. I am continuing that this year. Along with the coaching, I am working with Janis Cox on publishing some of her books.

RLS Creativity Coaching Logo