This is my second post about the NAME Conference my husband and I attended in November. The first post was about how men and women relate differently.
Dale and Loredanna Reddekopp shared in the second main session. They are a committed husband and wife team, the parents of two incredible adult children and one great son-in-law, partners in pastoral ministry for over 27 years, and BEST FRIENDS! They love hanging out with each other, going for walks and having breakfast dates. Their great desire is that all couples would have the loving and forgiving marriages that God intended for them to have.
Here are some ideas they shared:
Marriage is a work in progress. How are you working on your marriage?
- Be intentional (date nights, talking)
- Practice good things
- Be willing to change; the more you change, the better things go
Expectations are often developed because of the experiences we’ve had.
We come into our marriage with default settings. We need to change the default settings to something we both agree on.
Dealing with conflict:
- Acknowledge that it is there; Everybody has conflict!
- Allow yourself to feel the tension
Philippians 4:2 – Because you belong to the Lord, settle your disagreement.
When you are sending your teenager out for the night: “Remember that you are representing yourself and remember that what you say and where you go represents your Mom and I. Represent us well. Even more importantly, you belong to Jesus Christ. You have a responsibility to represent Him well!”
Dale shared that he has a Skype date with his daughter on Fridays even now after she is married.
Dale also shared a story. He and Loredanna have made it a practice to kiss each other every time they are in the car together and they have to stop at a red light. Their daughter and son-in-law have adopted this practice. Recently their daughter and son-in-law drove to the States for a conference. They took two other guys with them. When the two guys asked about the kisses, the son-in-law quipped, “Dude, it’s not about you.”
“Instead of getting bitter, we want to get better.”
Romans 12 – Don’t just pretend to love others (your spouse); hate what is wrong, hold to what is good.
Ideas to try:
- Open the car door for your wife
- Write notes for every day when your spouse is gone on a trip and make sure your spouse will find them.
- Leave a note on the door – “I left you 5 notes to find”
- Meet your spouse at the door and give them a hug and kiss
- Go to marriage enrichment opportunities with your spouse
- Give your spouse a pedicure
- Love Value Appreciate – LVA notes. (Send a text or write on a mirror) Do this even if you’re ticked off with your partner. (LVA – you go to work for us; LVA your tender kindness to me etc.)
Matthew 6:33 – Seek God first, even in your marriage.
Suggested book (Click on the image below to purchase the book from Amazon.ca):
Thanks, Loredanna and Dale.
Five Minute Friday – Still
Still – peace, quietness, perseverance, something that endures and continues for a long time.
Psalm 46:10 says, “Be still and know that I am God.”
In our busy world, we need to teach ourselves to be still and quiet. It’s easy to get caught up in too much busyness, too much people pleasing, too much doing, too much emptiness. Instead, we need to be still. We need to ground ourselves in God and His word so that we can serve with a full heart instead of running around with an empty heart.
Still – You’re still eating healthy? This still speaks of perseverance, endurance, grit, determination, stick-to-it-iveness (is there such a word?). I believe this still grows out of the first – being still and knowing God.
Still – I can hear a groan with this still. Do I still have to wash the dishes?
Time’s up. Which still will we focus on today?
Want to participate in Five Minute Friday? Here’s Kate’s description:
Welcome to another week of Five Minute Friday — an online community where bloggers who mostly don’t even dare to call themselves writers put their brave on week after week and bring the internet alive with their beautiful words.
It’s a place where we write free and deep and wide, where we let it all spill onto the screen in all its messy, jumbled up glory. It’s a place to link arms with others, to lift them up, to shine a light, to give hope.
Link in on Kate’s blog here.